My December
by Na-chan pwns
Summary: [Clerith][Angst!][AU] Cloud finally tells the one he loves his feelings. But can they survive the winter?
1. Chapter 1

**Please note that as much as I wished that I owned Final Fantasy and its characters, I don't.**

This is my first really big project that I will be putting up on fanfiction so enjoy and bug the living hell out of me to keep it going. I've had 'My December' by Linkin Park stuck in my head all week and the story line comes from me reading too many shojo mangas. I've always wanted to an AU fic too so this is what I came up with. Well, enjoy and **please** review because it means a whole lot to me. Thank you! c:

**Chapter 1**

It wasn't just another chilly windy day by the waterfront. In her mind, she knew that this day would change everything between them. She was ready.

Her bare feet splashed lightly through the chilly ocean current. She giggled, brushing her long dark hair out of her face and letting it blow back in the cooling breeze. Her soft brown eyes locked with those of the blonde standing slightly behind her. "What are you waiting for?" she asked playfully. "Are you just going to stand there?"

The blonde sighed. "It's too cold, Tifa. You pick the coldest day of the year…"

"It'll only get colder if you just stand there," she said annoyed putting her hands on her hips. "Cloud, are you just going to stand there and wait for spring?"

He sighed again which he seemed to do a lot these days. Tifa was right. He couldn't just stand there and wait for spring. It was only the beginning of November. So technically it wasn't even winter yet.

"Fine…" he said taking a step forward into the chilly ocean water. Tifa giggled.

"You're always like that," she said looking up at the dismal sky.

"Like what?" he asked giving her a puzzled look.

"So gloomy," she said shifting her gaze over to him. "You've never taken the time to enjoy what's happening and you always isolate your self from others."

Cloud looked down at the sand. He knew he was in for another one of Tifa's 'Cheer up emo kid!' lectures.

"I don't like seeing you like that. It only hurts the people that care about you," she continued. "I…" she stopped and looked down at her feet feeling her cheeks get turn pink with embarrassment.

As her voice trailed off, Cloud looked up at her. "You what?"

"I love you, Cloud."


	2. Chapter 2

**Please note that as much as I wished that I owned Final Fantasy and its characters, I don't.  
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**Chapter 2**

_Ding-dong_

The soft doorbell let its light tune travel through the empty apartment. _Please be home,_ Cloud thought tapping his foot lightly. He knew that when he got confused or sad or angry, she could fix things.

"Coming!" a cheery voice answered as he heard footsteps slowly coming towards the door. A young girl with bright green eyes and long brown hair answered the door. She smiled and opened the door all the way. "I was wondering when you were going to come see me."

"Aerith," Cloud said stepping inside. "I'm in trouble."

"What now?" she asked leading him into the living room as she plopped down on the couch. He took a seat in the chair directly across from her.

"It's Tifa," he started with a sigh. "She said…"

"What?" Aerith asked. She had feeling she knew what was coming, she just didn't want to hear it.

"She said…that…"

"Just spit it out already!" She said anxiously.

"She said she loved me!" He said quickly as if the words burned his tongue. He wasn't exactly used to hearing those words so it had been pretty awkward for him.

"Oh," she replied softly. She really had known what he was going to say.

Even though Tifa was her best friend, Aerith couldn't help but be jealous. She was smart, beautiful and she could fight.

"What did you say?" she asked in return.

"What did I say? I didn't say anything!" Cloud said throwing his hands up in frustration. "I don't know how to deal with something like this! I'm not used to it. I'm not ready. That's why I'm here."

Aerith tried not to look hurt. The only reason he had come to see her was because the girl he was dating told him that she loved him. "Do you love her?"

"What?" he asked confused, looking up at her.

"Do you love her?" she repeated. She tried hard to hide her frustration.

"I…well…I don't know," he said resting his head in his hands. "I don't know…"

"Well you have to tell her something! It's not easy telling someone that you love them. And then to have them not say anything?" she was standing now deciding that she couldn't exactly hide her frustration. "Cloud, I can't help you here. You have to decide on your own if you love her or not."

"Well maybe I don't!" He said rising to stand too. He was getting a little annoyed as well.

"Then tell her that! Why are you telling me?" she snapped loudly. _Why is Cloud always so damn stubborn?_

"Because! Maybe I love you!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Please note that as much as I wished that I owned Final Fantasy and its characters, I don't.**

((My apologies on the first two chapters being so skimpy. I'm working on perfecting my description skills. I'm not very good, but at least I'm writing. c:))

**Chapter 3**

Dead silence filled the spacious room making it feel much smaller than it truly was. Not a word could escape from Aerith's mouth after hearing what Cloud said. _Did he really mean it?_

He opened his mouth to say something yet no words came. _Did I really just say that?_

"Cloud…" she said softly looking down at the floor hiding her flustered face. "It's not right. I mean, with what Tifa just said and everything, it just doesn't seem fair to her. I'm sorry."

Cloud nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

Aerith looked up at him. _He didn't mean i_t? She thought. _I knew. It would be too good to be true._

"I should go," he said quietly. He stepped out the door and let it close behind him.

Aerith collapsed onto the soft cushions of the couch. "He really, really sad he…he loved me."

It was hard to take in. It just didn't seem right. After all, Tifa was much better for him. But she had always loved him. Was it right to let herself loose the one she loved to please her best friend? It was making her head hurt and her heart as well. _Why does it have to be so difficult?_

As she asked herself this, Cloud was asking himself the same thing as he made his way towards Tifa's apartment. _Why couldn't love be as simple as one person caring about someone in return?_

He wanted time to think so he decided on taking the stairs instead of the elevator. As he went up each step he couldn't help but be mad at himself. His own stupidity and lack of control over his emotions had pretty much ruined any relationship he could have had with Aerith. He stopped when he reached the fifth floor and made his way towards room 521.

He firmly knocked hoping Tifa would hear. She had a bad habit of tuning out the outside world when she was annoyed and Cloud felt that he had sufficiently pissed her off with the way he acted this afternoon. Much to his surprise the door flung open almost immediately after he knocked. "Tifa…"

He was cut off by Tifa throwing her arms around him in a tight hug nearly knocking him over. "I am so sorry!! I didn't mean to just throw that on you this afternoon. I mean it was wrong of me! We've only been dating a couple days," she rambled on and on about how bad she felt. Cloud simply just nodded feeling worse himself for having to tell her that he didn't return her feelings. "Cloud?"

He looked down at her to notice that she had released him from her deathly tight hug. "You look kind of sad. Well you always do, but it really looks like something's wrong. What is it? You know you can tell me anything," she said giving a look that said 'Tell me or I won't be very happy with you'.

"It's about what you said this afternoon," he started. He took a deep breath and remembered Aerith saying that it was worse for him to say nothing at all. _Aerith…_, he thought. _Great. Now I have her on my mind too. This is just making things worse!_

"Hello? Earth to Cloud! What about this afternoon?" Tifa asked waving her hand in front of his face trying to move his focus back to the conversation he had carelessly sidetracked himself from.

"Right," he said taking another deep breath. _I have to do this. I have to get this over with. If I don't, I'll only hurt Tifa more._

'Why don't we finish this in the living room," she suggested pulling him into the apartment. She plopped down on the loveseat and pulled him down next to her. "This is much better than that stupid hallway. That damn light always buzzes and it drives me insane. Now, what were you saying?"

Cloud nodded officially deciding that it was now or never. He **had** to do this. "Tifa," he started looking her dead in the eyes. _I can't do this,_ he thought feeling his throat get dry and face get hot. "I…I…" _I can't break her heart. I can't._ "I like you a lot but I really wouldn't feel comfortable calling it love yet."

"Oh," Tifa said without a hint of anger in her voice. "You're right. I guess I was rushing into things," she added and laughed. "Hey, why don't we go out for dinner tonight? I won't beg you to let me pay this time," she winked.

"I can't," he said standing up. "I have to fix something else."

"Aww," she said a little upset but she quickly got over it. "Maybe tomorrow night?" she suggested hopefully.

"Yeah," he said. "Tomorrow night's good. I'll call you, okay?"

She nodded and smiled walking him to the door. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then," she said giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Cloud."

"Goodnight, Tifa," he said closing the door behind. With the click of the lock he felt his heart sink down to his stomach. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Tifa that he didn't care about her the way she cared about him. Why couldn't he?

He let his own open ended question flutter through his mind as he started back down the stairs deciding yet again not to take the elevator. "I need to talk to Aerith."


	4. Chapter 4

**Please note that as much as I wished that I owned Final Fantasy and its characters, I don't.**

((The emo angst depressing stuff starts here! And it won't get happier. Sorry. I got this idea from an anime I saw a while back. I'm going to twist the ending because I really didn't like the way it ended. Enjoy!))

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****Chapter 4**

Cloud got home after taking the longest route possible back to his own place. He had officially decided that he was going to tell Tifa that his love had faded. And this time, he would actually go through with it. He refused to chicken out like last time. But as for what to do with Aerith, he had absolutely no clue.

He pushed his dulling silver key into the lock and turned it slightly to hear it click open. He pulled it out and stuffed it back into his pocket. He turned the bronze doorknob lightly pushing open the door.

Kicking his shoes off, he went into the kitchen to get himself something to drink. He would have preferred something very strong with a large amount of alcohol but he told himself that getting drunk wouldn't help his problem.

Right as he was about to enter the kitchen his phone rang. "Great," he mumbled. "I bet its Tifa."

He went back into the living room and over to the table where the phone rested blaring its angry ring at him. "Hello?" he answered.

"Cloud?"

"Aerith?" Cloud said a bit in surprise. She never called him, let alone anyone really. "Uh, is something wrong?"

"No!" she said quickly not wanting him to worry. Cloud had a tendency to worry over every little thing until it drove him mad. That was the last thing she wanted right now. "I was just thinking about the little chat we had at my place this afternoon."

"Oh, that," he said feeling the blood rush to his face. He was really glad he couldn't see her right now considering that his face had just turned her favorite color. "I'm really sorry about how I acted. I shouldn't have just thrown that on you…"

"It's okay!" she said with a soft laugh. "I guess your emotions were all out of synch because of what Tifa said, right?"

Cloud shrugged. "I guess so. So what's up? I mean you normally don't call so I'm guessing it's something kind of big."

"Not really," she said with a sigh I was just thinking that maybe tomorrow afternoon we could go get lunch together. I mean, as friends! Because of you and Tifa and…"

"Yeah, that'd be good. I need to talk to her anyway," he said his voice trailing off. He hadn't meant to say that. He knew it would bother Aerith knowing that he was going to break up with Tifa right after telling her that he loved her.

"About what?" she asked a little hesitant. _I hope he's not breaking up with her_, she thought a bit worried._ And right after he told me…_

"It's nothing," he said quietly. "I don't want you worrying about it, ok?" he added hoping that Aerith hadn't put two and two together and figured out he was breaking up with Tifa.

"Alright," she said with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow then. How about we meet at noon at the central train station?"

"Sounds good," he said with a smile himself. He was finally going to start fixing things. It made him feel better already.

"Well, I'll see you then," she said happily. "Bye."

"Bye, Aerith," he said into the receiver before lowering it from his hear and placing it back into its place. _Everything will be fine tomorrow. I can fix this. I can make it work._

* * *

Cloud paced himself through the busy afternoon streets. He passed through all the people thinking about how he was going to break the news to Tifa that evening. He silently prayed that she wouldn't cry. The one thing Cloud Strife could not handle was people crying. But more importantly, women.

He was about to take the next street when he noticed a young woman who resembled Tifa eyeing a jewelry stand. "Tifa?" he asked as he approached her.

She turned around with a big smile. "Cloud!" she said with joy throwing her arms around him in another hug. "I didn't think I'd see you out here so early."

"It's nearly noon," he said with a bit of a sarcastic tone. He took a double take to notice that he was going to be late. "I have to go Tifa," he said, but she had stopped him by locking onto his arm.

"Waiit!" she pleaded. "I saw this really pretty ring…" she said with a mischievous grin. Cloud could already feel his wallet get lighter. Tifa was a good person, just **very** expensive.

"Okay," he said fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. Tifa grinned and jumped with joy.

"You're the best," she said giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I like this one," she said picking up a knotted Celtic ring. She took a few minutes trying on the different sizes and making sure she had the perfect one. She eventually decided on one that pleased her. It wasn't cheap either.

"Thanks soooooo much Cloud!" she said again with a huge smile. "I'll see you tonight, okay?"

Cloud nodded and watched her walk off in the other direction. He was officially ten minutes late meeting Aerith. Knowing her, she wasn't going to pleased. He felt a knot forming in his stomach, however he had a strong feeling it wasn't coming from the fear of being yelled at by Aerith.

He noticed an extremely large crowd of people had gathered around the entrance to the train station. He spotted an ambulance and police cars as well. He just figured that there had been an accident. He made his way through the crowd looking for Aerith.

The knot only tightened when he couldn't find her. _She probably went home. Maybe she thought I wouldn't be able to find her in this crowd._ He took a deep breath to calm his rising nerves. He stepped up to the police tape to see what everyone was looking at.

Blood. Blood stained the pavement. The phone booth glass was shattered and pieces were reflecting off the ground, covered in blood as well. Cloud's heart sped up when he noticed what was in the center of the scene. A pink ribbon. _It can't be._

"Did you identify the victim?" he heard a police man say to another.

The other man nodded with a grim face. "She was young."

The knot in Clouds throat tightened. _There's no way. There's absolutely no way it could be her._

"Her name is Aerith Gainsborough sir."


End file.
